The Stories That Keep Us Trapped
QOTW:
“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” — Carl Jung
Hi there. It’s been a while since I’ve shared with you.
I thought I would share while on my walk across America, but I found myself preferring to do daily stories and reflections via short-form content.
The walk had a profound impact on me, and I’ll be dissecting and sharing those shifts over the coming months.
Today, I want to start a life-altering lesson I learned on the walk. It's something that resurfaced for me last week while I was on my trip to the Azores islands.
The Lesson
“I am not Tim who has awareness. I am that which is aware of Tim-ness.”
This is something I’ve felt before and have “known” for a few years, but this time I felt it in my soul. There’s something powerful about an idea shifting from conceptual knowledge to non-conceptual understanding.
One experience where it was most poignant was when I was walking through the mountains of New Mexico, and it hit me that I was not in nature, I was nature itself. I was the same as the trees, rocks, animals, streams, and the sky. I was able to see myself as another phenomenon existing just the same as the bald eagle flying above me.
I am aware of the eagle, and I am aware of Tim-ness.
Why This Matters
We’re so busy being who we believe ourselves to be, and those belief structures are what dictate our actions.
This is all fine and normal and part of being human. The problem we run into is when we are not aware of this internal operating system. Because it puts us at the mercy of our subconscious beliefs.
And if we are acting based on subconscious programming, are we really living with free will? The answer is no.
Perhaps it looks like:
- Repeating the same behaviors over and over, even though we want to behave differently.
- Not being able to “get out of our own way.”
- Shutting down, avoiding hard conversations, or lashing out with anger.
All of it is just the operating system playing out.
How to Shift
The shift begins by recognizing we are not our thoughts, beliefs, or actions.
We are the one who notices it all happening. Sit with that for a moment.
When we are busy being who we think we are, we have to try much harder. We fight against life. We’re constantly trying to match our external world to an internal belief structure we’ve lived our whole life creating.
It takes a lot more effort and force versus us relaxing into the way of things. It’s a very subtle shift. Letting go of the reins and taking our foot off the gas pedal—two things that cause many people a lot of stress and worry.
Let go of those two, and we can still do everything that needs to get done. We’re just not so concerned about being the person who is doing it all. We’re just there watching it all unfold. It’s amazing. It’s like life knows how to take care of itself perfectly.
The Practice
I work to see if I can just sit with and notice my Tim-ness. To not get all sucked into the story and mind-drama of it all, but see it all as just an unfolding. Less identifying with it, and more noticing it. And then noticing that which is noticing.
The Impact
We learn we don’t have to be attached to our identity of someone who “achieves,” and we can still achieve.
This is the paradox of attachment. The more we can detach from desires or outcomes, the more easily they flow to us.
We can be more in flow with life without sacrificing its quality. In fact, our quality of life improves because now we are going about our day at ease, with clarity, and more present.
I wish more people could see that there is nowhere to arrive. There is no endpoint. All we have is how we show up right now.
The "freedom" we work so hard for is available to us right now. It’s resting right behind our anxiety, stress, and self-applied pressure. It sits right behind the story of who we think we need to be in order to be worthy in this world.
It’s right there. At this moment!
The irony is that often working harder, earning more, and achieving bigger goals makes us feel even more trapped. It feeds into the false identity and belief structure of who we believe ourselves to be.
Acting from false identity → force, exhaustion, disconnection.
Resting as awareness → presence, clarity, ease.
Accessing it is as simple as practicing identifying as awareness and not our false identity.
It’s not a mental exercise. It’s an exercise in embodiment.
We have to feel it in our whole body. We have to be that with which we identify.
The Call Forward
Slow down. Be still. Notice. Rest. Surrender.
Become aware of the "you" who you think you are. See if you can notice how that identity is causing you suffering.
You are not that collection of beliefs or traits. And don’t try to change the story because it keeps you in the same trap. It’s better to look at the architecture of the story and not the content of it.
See the stories for what they are, and they will begin to have no pull on you.
Becoming aware of those stories starts to dissolve them.
Dissolving our stories means removing limitations.
This creates freedom.
Take a few minutes and write answers to these questions:
- Who am I, really? When I set aside my name, my job, my roles, my achievements, and even my thoughts — what remains?
- What do I believe I need to be in order to be worthy? Write out the traits, achievements, or roles you think define your value. Then ask: Is this who I truly am?
- Who is the one noticing this story? If I can see the story I tell myself, then who is the “I” that is aware of it?
- What happens when I stop trying to fix or improve myself? If nothing in me needs to be fixed, how does that change the way I see my life right now?
Whenever you're ready, here's how I can help:
