Stop Second-Guessing Yourself: Trust Your GutJan 28, 2023
Trust your gut, quiet your mind
Thought of the week:
“Personal power is directly tied to personal responsibility, which most people avoid.” ― Brendon Burchard
Taking ownership of our life is terrifying. It means we have to own up if it falls to shit. But it's also the only path to total freedom and an amazing life worth living.
In this week's dose, I talk about why we often sabotage ourselves when we change.
Do you ever set your mind to something, get excited about it, and then back out last minute?
Maybe you even start, have some success, and then your mind talks you out of it.
Why does that happen?
Why is it so hard for us to actually change for good?
Our mind likes predictability.
It wants as much certainty as possible and if anything threatens its perception of that, it goes into DEFCON 1.
So anytime we do something that is incongruent with our internal state and the image we hold of ourselves, our mind will work against us to make sure we STAY in the familiar zone.
I see this often with guys I work with.
They get a few weeks in, start to see real progress, they're feeling way better about themselves, and then their mind goes into sabotage mode.
They have thoughts of self-doubt, feel like they'll never change, skip their homework, or even want to quit.
The actions they take and the new feelings they feel go directly against their identity as they've known it for years.
Or when a potential client is FIRED UP during a consultation and is 100% on board to start coaching...
Then a few days go by and their mind starts to talk them out of it.
The details get fuzzy and we forget why our heart wanted to change in the first place.
Our mind is masterful at this kind of manipulation.
It tells us all the 'logical' reasons why we should go back on our decision.
Maybe I should try it on my own, wait another month & reassess, wait a few days to think through it, life is super busy right now...
The fact that your identity is in question, is the very reason you need to stay the course.
This is a HUGE growth moment in the making.
If you can exercise awareness to recognize this while it's happening, you're primed for a massive breakthrough.
In Atomic Habits, James Clear says the BIGGEST barrier to change is identity conflict.
Any potential threat to our identity sends off alarms in our minds.
Even if our heart KNOWS we need + want a new identity.
Even if our current identity is killing us on the inside.
Building a new identity doesn't happen by accident and sure as hell doesn't happen with more time to think about it.
Identity emerges out of habits.
And habits take time & intention.
Prove to yourself who you want to be with small wins over and over again.
Then over time, your beliefs & thoughts about yourself start to change.
Remember that motivation is fleeting and we have to curate our environment to support the new change we're after.
Find a mentor or join a group where your desired behavior is normal and you already have something in common with them.
I want change, but what do I do?
Make a decision.
Have your own back.
When you make the choice of creating a better life for yourself,
Instead of doubting, shaming, criticizing, and reconsidering… OWN it.
Sell yourself on doing what you believe is right for you.
Value your own needs first.
Don’t wait on anyone else to do it for you.
No one is coming to save you.
Decide that you can create the life you want.
Confidence is the external result of building self-trust.
Make your decisions as if they were guaranteed.
Have your own back - the whole way through.
Invest in yourself.
Invest in your mind.
Invest in your life.
You got this.
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