🧠 Upgrading Your Mind's Operating SystemDec 09, 2023
Read time: 5 mins
Ever get the feeling that the positive changes you're making could just be a temporary fix?
That eventually you’ll just go back to being the “old you”?
This is very common. The fear of slipping back into old habits, as if you'll undo all the progress you've made.
In this week’s dose, I share how to make sure this won’t happen. And what happens when you TRULY level up versus make temporary changes.
🗣️ Quote of the Week:
"Your task is not to judge or control. Your task is to embrace and understand."
As a lifelong high-performer, this concept has been the hardest for me to grasp. My default mode is to work through things, to make progress, to achieve, to push myself with negative talk...
But every time turn to face myself to embrace, understand, & love, it makes perfect sense. Something deep inside comes alive and says "Yes. THIS is the way."
🧘♂️ States VS Stages
One of the common fears I hear from guys I talk to is:
“How will I know I won’t return to my old self once I’m done working with you?”
And it’s pretty straightforward.
The answer lies in the difference between STATES & STAGES.
First, a look at States.
States are what we experience every day - kind of like emotional states.
Excitement for that new job.
Sadness, fear, and overwhelm by being laid off.
Giddiness when you date someone new.
Heartbreak when your relationship ends.
Feelings of joy when you close that big sale.
Stress, shame, & insecurity when you miss quota.
These are states and are a completely natural part of being human.
Most people think about changing their lives only through states.
We want less fear, stress, & anxiety, and more happiness, peace & fulfillment.
Worse yet, we try to change our states by changing our external world.
New relationship, new job, hitting quota…
Which is only temporary and isn’t life-changing because this looks at a downstream symptom of something much bigger → our STAGE.
By believing our external circumstance dictates how we feel internally, we disempower ourselves.
We have to look at the core of what is driving our STATES.
And the STAGE we are currently experiencing life from.
Second, let's explore Stages.
Elevated stages in consciousness are gained only by shifting how you view & relate to life.
They come from awareness, introspection, presence, and analysis of life.
THESE shifts are permanent, unlike changes in STATES.
Stages are kinda like levels in video games.
Once you beat the boss and make it to the next level, you don’t regress back to a previous level if you “die” - you just go back to the start of your current level.
This is what happens when you explore the limiting programming of the unconscious mind.
The perspectives, beliefs, and thoughts you hold that are currently dictating your states.
It’s like going from living on auto-pilot to living in the driver’s seat.
To start living consciously.
When you first learn to understand the mind in this capacity, you experience your first major STAGE shift.
If typical personal development is like taking the stairs, this type of growth is like jumping in a high-speed elevator.
It’s less growth and more evolution.
When you elevate STAGES, it’s impossible to view life the same again - and you don’t WANT to…
That’s the best part.
The trickle-down effect is massive.
It changes how:
→ You show up & perform at work
→ Present you are with your partner
→ You engage in your community
→ Patient you are while parenting
→ You prioritize your health
→ Driven you are each day
and SO much more.
Just like when Apple updates its operating system, every function of the phone improves…
When you update YOUR operating system, every single facet of your life gets an upgrade.
It’s why the guys I coach see massive transformation in 1-3 WEEKS.
Of course we focus on states, but the main intention is an elevated STAGE of consciousness.
This doesn’t mean you won’t ever experience negative states.
States are part of being human.
But it DOES mean you transform how you RELATE to those states.
You see them for what they are.
You no longer identify with them.
Which means you don’t allow them to ruin your day.
You can instead use those states as signals to where you can evolve your operating system.
You learn that you have the power to be OKAY regardless of what’s going on around you.
Regardless of how “shitty” your life circumstance may seem at the moment.
Because what makes a circumstance shitty in the first place, is your perception of it.
Do you see how empowering this is?
To realize that your perspective is the only thing that makes anything good or bad?
AND that you have the power to change your perspective once you become conscious of it?
This is how you gain life-changing growth in such a short amount of time.
Because your evolution isn’t bound by time, it’s bound by your willingness to adopt a new way of viewing your life.
To see the objective TRUTH in life and not be distracted by the limited tunnel vision of the ego.
This shift in perspective is a game-changer.
No longer do you need to fear falling back to “old you”.
Instead, you stand firm on your new platform, an elevated STAGE that becomes your new norm.
Examples of naturally occurring STAGES:
Most humans live unconsciously for the majority of their lives, only experiencing growth during moments in life where their perspective shifts dramatically.
Shifts with things like parenthood, mid-life crisis, retirement, etc.
Maybe a sudden death of a loved one or a loss of job.
Something that is jarring enough to pause our survival mind (ego) and awaken us in some form.
To have a totally different perspective on what life means.
To gain a sense of immense clarity that we often didn’t even know we were missing.
My First Personal Stage Shift:
This level of clarity came to me when I was fired from my tech sales job in 2020.
I had already been struggling for 4-5 years with my own happiness and this was the dagger I needed.
I had been next in line for a promotion to team manager for 6-8 months.
At the time, I was a Team Lead, took 2 reps under my wing, was giving onboarding presentations to new hires every week, and was interviewing ~100 candidates each quarter.
But none of that mattered when I missed quota.
When I was fired it shook me.
It showed me the game I had been trying to win was out of my control.
I had put ALL my worth & fulfillment into the hands of a tech start-up whose culture I felt misaligned with.
I felt a cosmic shift at my core telling me there was a better way to live.
And so I started down the path of exploring what my gut had been trying to tell me for years.
Now, imagine what you can do if you’re INTENTIONAL with your stage evolution.
To see life through a totally new lens on purpose.
For a specific reason…
Holy shit this is when life gets exciting and begins to TAKE OFF in ways you didn’t even see coming.
This is the power that exists within each of us if we become conscious of it.
Remember what drives our actions:
→ Circumstance ignites thoughts
→ Perspective shapes which thoughts we believe
→ Feelings are generated from thoughts we BELIEVE
→ Feelings lead to action
→ Actions create results
Most people want to skip it all and focus on ACTIONS first.
But we have to look UPSTREAM at what is creating these unwanted actions in the first place.
If you’ve ever thought “I know WHAT to do, I just don’t do it…” then this is exactly where you need to focus.
“There comes a point where we need to stop just pulling people out of the river. We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in.” - Bishop Desmond Tutu
This is why the WORK works.
Because you’re not getting tactics or tricks to feel better in the moment - to just improve your STATE…
Only to revert to the “old you” when the state eventually wears off.
You fundamentally shift how you RELATE to life.
How you relate to your fears, insecurities, and worries:
→ What if you didn’t allow work to stress you out?
→ What if you didn’t allow yourself to get peeved because a driver cut you off?
→ What if you allowed yourself to be present & at peace regardless of your surroundings?
Not everyone is ready to hear this and fewer are ready to CREATE this for their lives.
But elevating your STAGE is how you create sustaining change in life.
It’s how you ensure you never go back to repeating old patterns or revert back to the “old you.”
🌟 Client Spotlight: Vini E. 🌟
“Before joining Tim's cohort I was feeling stuck personally and professionally, on edge & uncomfortable with myself.
I had low self-confidence despite always being a high performer in sports, at home & work. I was always anxious and worried about being a fraud and not being enough in anything I did.
A more calm, confident person came out the other side of Tim's program.
I became confident to take on hard things, not have any regrets, and align my life with who I am and want to be.
I'm more present, aware & intentional about my life.
This is something I wasn't before working with Tim. His program & framework gave me the building blocks to get there."
- Vini E, GTM
And whenever you're ready, here's how I can help: